Updating everyone on why I haven't been the blogger/influencer I am trying to be.
Ps none of this makes sense it really is just me ranting about my recent depression lol.
Let's just be honest with ourselves. When we get out of bed, we look awful. When we just had a big crying session in our car or the work bathroom, we look awful. When we are scrounging to get bills paid or to get homework done, we look AWFUL. When we all have those moments, do you think to post on Instagram? Do you get up from the bathroom floor after a breakdown, wipe off your destroyed makeup or splash water on your puffy eyes to pose for a selfie? No, no one does that, because sometimes it feels as if social media only glorifies the happy times in life. So does that mean everyone posting the perfectly posed picture is happy?
Everyday people put on masks, and not just through Instagram but through day to day lives. Your co-worker that smiles and deals with work all day long is probably having extreme personal issues, if it isn't that co worker then maybe it's another. Sometimes it's you. But as badly as sometimes we want to stay in bed, we need to get out there and adult. You may think, why? "Why do I need to put on a face and save all of my crap for home or personal time?" "Why can't I just scream out to the world that I am not having a good day, and that no one should talk to me?" These are almost everyday thoughts for me, and I know I am not alone. Getting out of bed is hard, sometimes showering or making my own food is hard. And I know others struggle too.
My point is..
I promise, my depressed self has a point. My point is, stop hiding your sadness and feelings. If someone is hurting you, tell them or find better people in your life. If a job feels toxic? Quit and find a better job for yourself. If a partner is being abusive PLEASE get help. If you are following people on your social media that make you feel less worthy, hit the unfollow button. Life is hard. Feelings are hard. Getting up everyday and making the gamble if the day will be good or not is SO hard. Sometimes, all together being a human sucks. That is why doing small things like reflecting on what is making you cry is important. Small smiles or small relief's of stress can take you SO far mental health wise.
I have been diagnosed with depression since I was 16 years old, depression has only gotten worse since I have had to take care of myself and have not had a mother or father around to remind me to do simple things. But, I get up everyday. Out of the seven days of the week, something good is bound to happen and that is what I look forward to. I cry almost everyday, sometimes I cry because I just need to let it out. Being sad is okay, struggling with depression/anxiety is okay. My challenge to you this week is to try to find the smiles throughout your week, I am going to challenge myself to this so I am challenging everyone else!
If this did not make sense, I am so sorry. If it did I hope you enjoyed and I hope I helped a little bit. You can face any challenge thrown at you, I know it.